I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
