Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
