either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
