It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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