I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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