She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
God, I missed his penis.
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