I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
