If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We have so much sex to catch up on
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
