I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
