how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
