a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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