Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
