I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize