Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
