the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
