i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize