I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize