I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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