I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
