I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize