Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
