No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
How does it feel to date your dad?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
