Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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