STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
