The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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