Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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