This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
