Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
