But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
