You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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