Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
