I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
