we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize