its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
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