and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
