At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
