Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
