I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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