How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
