He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
