I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
