i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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