I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
