I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
