I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
