I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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