Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
