were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
