just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
