I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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