My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
