Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize