I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
