Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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