party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
