Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
