He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
