im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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