My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
