all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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