Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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