Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
one might say we're banned from that church
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
