My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
